Your audience isn’t thinking about you...
They’re too busy asking: “What’s in this for me?”
(Psychology of why what YOU think they want is WRONG)
As an introvert from Pakistan who once stuttered through his own name. I discovered a shocking gap when training high-achievers:
What anxious speakers THINK audiences want versus what audiences ACTUALLY value.
This insight transformed my clients' speaking impact.
Here's what research reveals:
1. Speakers obsess over: How do I LOOK?
- Appearance, posture, gestures
- "Do I seem confident enough?"
- "Is my outfit right?"
Audiences focus on: What can I USE?
- They want actionable insights without being sold to
- Value substance over style
- Care about relevance to THEIR problems
DO THIS: Solve their problems with actionable insights.
2. Speakers panic about: Will I FORGET?
- Memorizing word-for-word
- Fear of "going blank" on stage
- Obsess over perfect delivery
Audiences crave: Can I TRUST you?
- Authenticity signals expertise
- Want speakers who are present, not perfect
- Value genuine connection over polish
DO THIS: Focus on connection over perfection.
I learned this after bombing my talk trying to recite a memorized script.
3. Speakers worry about: Am I GOOD ENOUGH?
- Compare themselves to "polished" speakers
- Fear not meeting expectations
- Believe expertise must be flawless
-
Audiences want: Do you UNDERSTAND me?
- Empathy with their specific challenges
- Recognition of their situation
- Real solutions to their problems
DO THIS: Know your audience to solve their pain points.
4. Speakers stress about: Will they JUDGE me?
- Fear criticism and rejection
- Imagine audience looking for flaws
- Believe mistakes equal failure
Audiences actually think: Is this RELEVANT?
- They're self-focused, not speaker-focused
- Care if content solves their problems
- Some will always judge you and that's OKAY.
DO THIS: Serve those who are silently asking:
"What's In It For Me?"
5. Speakers get stuck on: Did I say it RIGHT?
- Overthinking every word choice
- Replaying awkward phrasing in their head
- Trying to sound "smart" instead of clear
Audiences ask: Did I GET it?
- Clarity makes you memorable
- They want simplicity, not jargon
- Confused brains disengage to save energy
DO THIS: Ditch the clever. Be clear.
→ Use plain language, short sentences
→ Speak like you're talking to one person, not impressing a panel
REMEMBER:
Audiences remember how you made them FEEL long after they forget what you SAID.
-Waqas
LinkedIn | Past Newsletter Issues
P.S.--I made a handy PDF that goes along with today's newsletter issue. If you want it, just reply "PDF" and I'll send it your way.
P.P.S.--I did my first fourteener (14000+ ft) hike in US
📍 Mount Bierstadt 14066ft, Colorado USA
