October 18th, 2024.
It's 8 p.m. on Friday night.
I'm sitting in the audience at The Moth StorySLAM event in Denver
...along with 300+ strangers who preferred listening to other strangers personal stories over EVERYTHING else they coulda been doing
...including movies, video games and sex.
So, the stakes are high.
My name gets called on stage.
I'm the 4th storyteller of the night. I get up on stage amidst clapping and cheering.
While I'm adjusting the mic, there are 3 thoughts in my head:
First: This is the first time I'm facing 300+ strangers from the stage... I haven't seen it coming in my wildest dreams.
Second: I can barely see anything past the first 2 rows since the spotlight is focused on my face like a laser beam, and back lights are off.
Third: I want to pee so bad that if I didn't my bladder is gonna burst any moment now. But it's too late obviously, ha-ha
Anyways I kept going.
There's a pin-drop silence in the audience.
So much so that I can hear my own breath and heartbeat... dug-dug, dug-dug.
I start telling my story...
(A YouTube video of my story is linked at the end of this letter)
5 lessons learned from my first storytelling experience at The Moth StorySLAM
...that I think you might find applicable to your speaking situations as well.
Lessons 1
Spend extra time adjusting the mic as per your comfort.
I know it might sound simple but it's important.
I didn't do a decent job and had to lean forward repeatedly, which was obviously a distraction.
Lessons 2
It's okay to stare into the darkness and not get any visual feedback from the audience.
As a public speaker I have been trained to maintain good eye contact and assess how the audience perceives my message:
- Is my audience getting bored...
- Or getting entertained?
- Are they hooked to my story...
- Or getting ready to fall asleep?
- Am I making enough eye contact with most of them?
You get the idea.
Unfortunately, I couldn't get any of this feedback, and it was distracting.
To be honest, I didn't even know if they were still there or silently left behind the back door ;)
So, I learned that sometimes it's okay not to get all this and just keep staring into darkness
...and forget about the eye-contact for a few minutes.
Lessons 3
There's no easier way to put it, so lemme just say it...
You will lose your place when giving a talk or speech, especially when not using any notes or slides.
So... what should we do when it happens?
IMPROVISE.
And avoid preparing your talk or speech word-for-word as it's easier to mess up on big stage when recalling what's the next word or the sentence
...and we may also sound robotic.
Instead, prepare it as a set of bullets or ideas which when told together make one whole thing: your talk.
Naturally, it's easier to do when it's a story because it happens in a sequence and our brain is programmed to remember a story, especially if it's a personal story.
But when—when, not if, because it will happen—you lose your place, don't panic, and improvise.
No one knows what you were supposed to say, except you ...if you keep going and don't panic, no one will ever know.
I had to do it numerous times when I told this story.
Lessons 4
Add layers of different emotions into your story.
For example, the second half of my story was mostly filled with vulnerability...
Which is great because this is how we connect with others on a deep emotional and human level.
But...
I didn't give my audience any opportunity to laugh or smile even for a little bit during the second half.
They experienced only one emotion.
What I could have done better was adding additional layers of humor and amusement throughout the story, so the audience get to laugh and reset every time I shared serious and vulnerable stuff.
Lessons 5
Forgive yourself for making mistakes, especially if it's your first appearance on a big stage.
All that matters is that you are becoming a better version of yourself after each speaking experience.
There's ALWAYS room for improvement and nothing is perfect.
Reader,
Watch my personal story on YouTube and let me know your feedback in the comment sections on YouTube.
See you there!
Best,
Waqas - Head Speaking Anxiety Coach
P.S. In case you missed it last week, get Deborah's free resource "Two Steps to Getting Answers from Your Dreams" for a crash course on exploring and finding meaning in your dreams to help you overcome your struggles. Click here to get Deborah’s free resource.