2nd Issue of Newsletter

Free Your Voice from Speaking Anxiety

Happy Sunday Public Speaker!

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I am excited to present my "Origin Story". This will give you a sneak peek into my public speaking journey. Let's get to it!

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My Origin Story

Early Years

I grew up an extremely shy and introverted kid back in Pakistan. I was one of those geeks who were always doing something related to school homework, tests, and exams—for which I am grateful now 😉.

I was bullied a lot and acting shy served as a defense mechanism throughout my school years.

The shyer I acted, the more self-conscious I became and started to develop a mold around me, which grew stronger and thicker every time I said no to expressing myself and speaking in public.

Acting shy and staying under the radar was a set of behaviors that served me well during my school years, but it hindered my social growth—It stopped serving me when I graduated from school.

Identity Formation

But it was too late, and I internalized shyness as part of my identity. I said to myself: “Maybe this is who I am”.

Every time I had to give a course presentation during my bachelor’s education, I would dread it and get worried sick, but I found a way to survive all that by not looking at the audience and directly reading from slides.

Luckily—or unluckily—there were only a few presentations I had to deliver throughout my bachelor’s and master’s education in Pakistan; also, there was no public speaking involved at my job.

Migration to the USA

Fast forward to September 2019, when I was a PhD student of Electrical Engineering at Missouri University of Science and Technology, I had an opportunity to attend an event known as “Celebration of Nations” which is a vibrant and colorful celebration of diversity at the university.

I was put in charge of selling food items at our booth. I enjoyed the experience and was excited to greet people visiting our booth.

Encounter with Angels of Death

My excitement instantly vanished the moment I spotted the media team from the university visiting each booth and interviewing people one by one—not as a group but one-by-one.

To me, it was just like visualizing the angels of death and waiting for my turn to be departed from this world to the next.

I simulated all possibilities and scenarios to avoid the forthcoming death by embarrassment and the strategy I came up with was to act invisible.

Acting invisible was something I had been doing since my childhood and it seemed a logical strategy.

Deer in the Headlights

“How did you find living in Rolla so far”, asked the reporter and placed the mic in front of my face.

At that moment it just hit, O gosh! I’m not invisible anymore. She can see me!!!

I panicked and felt butterflies in my stomach. My hands started to sweat.

I froze like a deer in the headlights.

Say Something...

You might have realized it was NOT a deep philosophical question, but rather a simple question.

A few seconds went by which felt like an eternity in the moment.

I tried to utilize all the cognitive abilities of my brain to come up with a coherent response, but I got nothing.

I thought about my friends and imagined how they might think that I was ruining the interview.

I mustered up the courage and spoke consecutively for about twenty long seconds, but what I said in those twenty seconds was nothing but plain gibberish—simply put "trash".

All Gone...

I have no recollection of what I said in that “interview”—it shall remain a mystery until the day of judgment. Honestly, I don't remember even a single phrase from that interview.

When I was done with “speaking”, I felt embarrassed, I felt humiliated, I felt as if my confidence shattered like broken glass on the ground 😭.

The walk from our booth to my car and back home was indeed a walk of shame. I never got the courage to talk about that incident to any of my friends to this day.

Enough!!!

That incident kept haunting me for a long time and a few months later, I decided to conquer my public speaking anxiety—which is known as Glossophobia—and bought a book by Dale Carnegie “The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking”. [Click the link to find it on Amazon]

I hated reading extracurricular books and it took me around a year to read that book twice—yes twice.

But as they say, you cannot learn to swim by reading books, it also turns out it holds for public speaking 😉.

The Ozark Orators Toastmaster Club

I learned from somewhere that Toastmasters International is the platform people use to develop communication skills.

I googled it up and was excited to know that Rolla has its very own club known as The Ozark Orators Toastmasters.

I joined the Toastmasters Club in January 2022 and consistently showed up in weekly meetings. It helped me debunk some of my false beliefs about public speaking.

After delivering a few dozen speeches in Toastmasters meetings, I started to feel a huge improvement in my public speaking abilities:

• I learned that public speakers are not born but made
• I realized that all great speakers were bad speakers at first
• I came to know that showing vulnerabilities and weaknesses to the audience is what humanizes us as a speaker and connects with the audience.

Time to Redeem My Lost Confidence

In November 2022, the opportunity to redeem my lost confidence knocked at the door and I welcomed it with open arms.

On November 10, 2022, on my 33rd birthday, I delivered a speech to an audience of over forty people at the Rolla Lions Club.

In those moments, I knew that I had slain my demons and conquered my fear of public speaking. I felt as if I found my lost passion.

It was the most important day of my life when I proved to myself that I could achieve anything humanly possible.

I recently defended my Ph.D. in Electrical Engineering but I would rank overcoming the public speaking anxiety above all my achievements.

Lessons Learned:

1. Do The Impossible Thing - One of many lessons I want the readers to draw from my experience is a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: “You must do the thing you think you cannot do”. You gain courage, confidence, and mighty strength every time you face your fears, and take on any challenge that comes your way. Two years ago, I thought public speaking was the last thing I would ever venture into but after doing this impossible thing anyway, I formed the belief that I can achieve anything that is humanely possible.
2. Finish Strong - "It's not how you start, but it's how you finish". Don't get intimidated by your past or current fears, be courageous to face them and finish strong.

DenverSpeakUp

I founded my coaching business “DenverSpeakUp” in August 2023 with the hope to make people realize that if I can do it so can they—and not in years but in a few weeks.

I believe that just practicing is not the shortest and quickest way to overcome this phobia.

Instead working on the mindset and limiting beliefs is the quickest and most effective route.

I have put together a comprehensive program in which I apply the techniques and tools I learned while overcoming my public speaking anxiety to help my clients permanently get rid of their speaking fears for good.

That's a wrap.

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Question: Do you resonate with any part of my story? If yes, reply to this email [waqas@denverspeakup.com] and let me know which part. I will be happy to read :)

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TWO MORE WAYS I CAN HELP YOU

1 - Free Live Webinar: I will host a Live FREE Webinar on Friday (@12:00 PM MT, 11:00 AM PST, 01:00 PM CST, 02:00 PM EST) in which I will uncover the secrets to overcoming your public speaking anxiety.​

2 - Social Media: I regularly share practical tips and insights on public speaking and communication skills. If you are active on Youtube, Instagram, or ​Threads, let's connect.

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P.S. ​If you know someone who could benefit from this newsletter, I’d love to have them join our community of public speakers. They can subscribe here. Thanks!

Best,

Waqas, Founder & Speaking Coach

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