I grew up introverted, shy, and timid person.
But now I feel like I've made the transition to being an extrovert or at least an ambivert...
Credit to my public speaking training for past 3-4 years.
And it seems silly how I used to dread saying a simple hello to strangers back in the days when I was crippled with social anxieties.
Just last week...
while working with a client, I realized that some people.. I'm guessing most introverts might still feel the same awkwardness and dread when initiating a simple conversation.
So..
I've decided to put some thoughts and research into it and share these 5 ideas to get over the anxiety and awkwardness when interacting with strangers.
1- Smile
It's like saying hello with your eyes.
When you smile at someone, it signals you're a friend, not a foe and...
They will be likely to smile back and will be open to listening to whatever you are gonna say next.
I know in some cultures—including mine—it's considered inappropriate to smile at strangers as they might interpret it as a sign of flirting ha-ha...
I know it may sound ridiculous but it's true.
But I think in the US and most western cultures it's quite the norm, so you're safe to smile at strangers ;)
2- Take one more bite
Remember how your mom or grandma would encourage you to take only one more bite of that tasteless vegetable or the food you didn't like, and you ended up eating way more than just one bite?
Well, it's kinda the same here.
Just take one more bite of that broccoli, don't think about the long conversation and say something like:
- How's it going?
- Chilly weather!
- What a beautiful day!
- Or simply... have a great rest of your day/morning/evening!
- etc.
And based on their response, you can guess if it's worth talking to them any further.
3- Compliment
As a human being, one of our biggest desire and need is to feel being seen, heard, and acknowledged. It's how our brain is wired.
So why not use it to our advantage, right?
If you genuinely like something in other person, just say it out loud and see how it would spark their eyes and, in most cases, it might be the only nice thing they might have heard that day, week, or even that month.
It could be something like:
- Nice backpack! Where did you get it from?
- Cool shades!
- Awesome phone case!
- I like your hair or T-shirt or sneakers etc.
The idea is to share something that you genuinely liked so they feel seen, heard, and acknowledged.
And once you do that.. observe how their face blossoms like a flower and eyes sparkle with joy!
You're more likely to make their day and they will enter that into their daily journal (if they keep one)
But..
if you can't find "anything" at all to complement on, I'll leave it up to you to decide if it's worth initiating a conversation with them.
4- Ask for an opinion
This is another great way to easing the nervousness and awkwardness with strangers because it makes the other person feel their opinions matter when you ask for it—Psychology 101.
Assuming you're at a coffee shop or at a store and want to talk to a stranger...
Just give them 2-3 options and ask for their opinion.
For example:
- I can't decide between X and Y, what do you think?
- Hi, I can't decide between these 2 styles of shades, which one would you recommend?
- etc.
Once you ask for their opinion, just observe what it does to their mood and demeanor...
My guess is you'd be pleasantly surprised how much happy it makes people when we ask for their opinions.
In the end...
remember you have to keep exercising these ideas frequently to see real impact on your confidence and comfort when initiating conversations with strangers.
The more you do it, the better you'll get at it, and you'll be surprised with the progress.
Now Reader,
Which of these ideas do you think are worth trying today or this week?
You can let me know by replying to this email. I read all emails :)
-Waqas
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