Reader,
Think you must please everyone in the audience?
Better yet..
Do you think you can please everyone in the audience, either online or on-stage?
Before you answer...
Let me introduce you to Tim Ferriss's 10% Hater Rule:
10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it and treat it as math.
I hate to break it to you but there's no better way of saying this:
Whatever you do, whatever you say, at least 10% of the people will find a reason to take it personally and hate you for it.
- Some might hate your style
- Some might hate the way you speak
- Some might hate you just for being on stage—for no reason whatsoever.
So...
Expect it.
Don't react.
Treat it as Math.
This is how Math works...
Currently, I have 15k followers on LinkedIn. 10% of 15k = 1500.
I know 1500 don't like me for some reason or without a reason. 1500 seems a big number, but what can I do? Should I stop writing online or telling my stories?
HECK NO!
I'm expecting that those are not my people.
I don't show up for them. I don't write for them. I don't speak to them.
The same is applicable when you're on stage.
When you receive non-constructive feedback or hate comments, just put them in this 10% bucket of haters and move on and know that...
When someone passes hate comment and negative judgment, they try to reflect their own insecurities and negativity on to you. Negative judgment is not your problem, It's in their heads...
It's the product of their BS values and belief systems.
Don't let it become your problem...
Because only YOU have the ability to let it become your problem.
Negative comments and personal attacks only come from people who suffer from insecurities, inferiority complex, and unresolved self-esteem issues.
They want to drag you down to their level.. It makes them feel satisfied, superior, and good enough about themselves.
This is the only way they can be satisfied with staying miserable, complacent, and being in the status quo.
A self-confident and secure person, who is doing better than you, would NEVER attack you... They might give you feedback and valuable lessons to get better but never criticize you for the sake of criticism.
And the fact that you are getting negative feedback and hate is reassuring that you are already making an impact...
You matter.
Because...
It's better to be loved or hated than your content or talks going into obscurity and not stirring up any emotion in the audience.
Let me ask..
Who do you think is the most powerful person in the US?
The president of the US, of course.
But then who is the most hated person in the US and probably in the entire world?
Again, the president of the US... Almost half of the populace in the US hates him. Ironic, huh?
So... I would rather be hated or loved than be IGNORED.
It's a measure that I matter. Period.
Having said that...
Also know that not everyone in the audience is there to judge you. Most audience members will root for you.
Given that people's number 1 fear is public speaking, your audience will see you as a courageous person.
Because...
Courage is not the absence of fear, it's the willingness to act despite the fear.
Know that most of the audience members are there to see you succeed in your talk. Seeing a speaker fail on stage is the last an audience would ever wish for.
The fact that you've decided to go on that stage proves you've separated yourself from the herd...
You are already a winner!
Best,
Waqas - Head Speaking Anxiety Coach
LinkedIn | Past Newsletter Issues