I spent $6500 trying to fix my public speaking anxiety.
Here's what actually worked.
2019: There I was.. asked to respond to a simple question in a mic by the media person
Those deep breathing exercises?
Useless.
Those positive affirmations?
Totally failed me.
My fake confidence?
Exposed.
And I felt like the most insecure and least confident person ever.
Since then..
I tried EVERYTHING the 'experts' recommended:
- Weekly Toastmasters meetings
- Deep breathing exercises
- Practiced 100's of times to the point that I sounded like a robot
- Repeated positive affirmations... mindlessly
- Tried to remove fillers (Ah's, Umm's, you know..)
- Attended costly day-long bootcamps, not once but twice.
Only to find out that nothing worked long-term...
I was back to square one... feeling like an imposter in each toastmaster meeting.
WHY?
Because I was fixing the SYMPTOMS, not the CAUSE.
The turning point? It was NOT when I:
- Mastered body language
- Eliminated filler words
- "Tried" Copying famous speakers and their style
- Practiced and rehearsed word-for-word--sometimes over-rehearsed.
It was WHEN I realized my anxiety wasn't about speaking.
It was about 'being SEEN'.
You see Reader...
I carried deep FEARS:
→ Fear of negative judgment
→ Fear of not being 'good enough'
→ Fear of being exposed as a fraud or imposter.
The REAL breakthrough came when I:
1- Stopped trying to be perfect
Instead: Started sharing my journey, especially struggles
2- Quit copying other speakers
Instead: Found my natural style (vulnerable, story-driven, raw and real)
3- Stopped obsessing over techniques
Instead: Focused on serving my audience with VALUE
TODAY?
I still get bit nervous but it's different now:
It's not panic... it's energy.
Not fear... but excitement.
It's being 'CONFIDENTLY nervous'.
Knowing that I have the tools, resources, skills, and mindset to deal with any uncertainty that comes my way on stage.
And those 'perfect' speakers I used to envy?
Many of them come to me for help, carrying the same fears behind their polished facades.
The truth about speaking confidence...
- It's NOT about perfection
- It's NOT about techniques or faking it
- It's about addressing the real fears underneath
Reply 'FRAMEWORK' to know exact steps I use to coach CEOs to speak with Authority & Confidence
-Waqas
P.S.--This past weekend, I captured this beautiful view at Independance Pass in Colorado, near Aspen.
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