Racing heart.
Sweaty palms.
Shaky knees.
Reader,
Have you ever felt this before speaking in front of more than 2 people?
Well, you’re not alone. I've been there.
Surveys reveal that public speaking is people's number ONE fear, leaving the fear of death way behind.
Have you ever wondered what causes those speaking nerves in the first place?
Let's find it out today!
I lived 3 decades of my life fearing negative judgment and failure to hide my nervousness caused by speaking in front of others.
Whenever I had to step up and share my ideas, speaking anxiety was my kryptonite.
I let this fear define me and my potential for thirty good years of my life.
But not anymore!
Over the past 3.5 years, I've been on a mission to demystify this fear and find the underlying root causes.
And today, I’m uncovering the TWO major sources behind the crippling fear of public speaking.
(Note: the second source contributes the most to this fear)
1 - Lack of practice and rehearsal
When you are unprepared.
This cause is most talked about by public speaking coaches and gurus.
Here's my favorite quote on the importance of practice and rehearsal.
"Only the prepared speaker deserves to be confident."
—Dale Carnegie.
Anxiety and nerves are inevitable when you are unprepared and haven't rehearsed your talk or presentation.
It makes you think on your feet and cover up for the lack of preparation.
But let's agree Reader ...
The fear of blanking out on stage is overwhelming when you haven't researched and rehearsed your content in advance.
As a result, your speaking experience will be full of nerves, anxiety, and lack of confidence.
Instead ...
Research your topic thoroughly and rehearse it enough times that you can talk about it to anyone.
Prof. Alex Lyon recommends practicing and rehearsing at least 10 times before the event.
Not on a single day
... but spread out over multiple days.
Practice like crazy and don't just wing it.
Unpopular opinion: don't practice in front of a mirror.
Think about it Reader ...
Are you going to see your face during the actual speaking engagement?
I don't think so.
So, why practice seeing your own face?
Instead, practice it with friends, family, and alone.
Even better ...
record yourself on camera and rewatch it to analyze what gestures to make and what else to improve upon.
Now ...
If you've done all that and even over-practiced your content but still feel that speaking anxiety is unmanageable
... your anxiety might be coming from this second source.
2 - Core Limiting Beliefs
Only a handful of public speaking coaches talk about it
... but our limiting beliefs about ourselves and public speaking contribute the most to this fear.
A belief is your interpretation of reality that you hold on to as THE TRUTH, but it may or may not be the truth
... it might just be "a truth".
Belief system runs every aspect of our lives.
For instance, beliefs make us ...
- Spend extravagantly or be miser,
- Invest in self or think it's a total waste of time and money,
- Frown or smile back at strangers at the grocery store,
- Speak fearlessly or get worried sick when asked to speak in public.
This is how everything we do is tied back to our beliefs:
Beliefs make us act intentionally based on how we feel
... for instance, saying no to speaking in public if it makes us feel anxious, vulnerable, and hopeless.
Habits make us do things without even thinking for once
... for example, hitting the brake pedal when seeing someone running into the street.
A self-limiting belief is a perception about us that restricts us in some way.
There is nothing else that destroys human potential more than our self-limiting beliefs—and the worst part is that we never realize it.
Our self-esteem and self-limiting beliefs are formed at the age of 6-10.
There are 4 common ways in which a belief is formed
- Experiences or observing others' experiences
- Media, stories, and rumors
- Being told what is true
- Traumatic events (one event is enough to form a belief)
For the first three, it may take a series of events or repetitions of similar events to form a belief.
However, only ONE traumatic event is enough to form a belief.
Here's a list of common limiting beliefs behind the fear of public speaking:
- Public speaking is inherently scary
- I'm not a born natural public speaker
- What I have to say is unimportant
- Mistakes and failures are bad
- Appearing nervous on stage is bad
- Showing vulnerability is bad
- I'm not smart enough
- I'm not good enough
- What makes me good enough is doing things perfectly
- I'm going to be judged negatively
- What makes me good enough is having others think well of me
- People will judge based on my accent
- I'm not important
Interested in learning which one of these beliefs might be the root cause behind your speaking anxiety?
Here's a detailed guide: Getting in Touch with the Source
Feel free to reply to this email if you have questions or feedback on this newsletter.
I personally reply to EVERY email.
If you know someone who could benefit from this newsletter, I’d love to have them join our community of fearless public speakers. They can subscribe here.
BRINGING IT HOME
TL; DR
Your fear public speaking because ...
- either you're unprepared (I can't help you on this one)
- or you have one or many limiting beliefs about yourself or about public speaking
Reader ...
I can only help you if the source of your worries and anxieties is limiting beliefs.
Use this guide to identify those limiting beliefs and let me know when you are ready to crush them.
THREE MORE WAYS I CAN HELP YOU
1 - Free Discovery Call - Book your free discovery call now to uncover the root of your anxiety and fast-track your journey from nervous to confident speaker 🎤. Seize the opportunity and take that first step toward transformation!
2 - Free live webinar - I will host a Live FREE Webinar on Friday (@2:00 PM MT, 1:00 PM PST, 03:00 PM CST, 04:00 PM EST) in which you will learn three secrets to overcoming your public speaking anxiety.
3 - Social media - I regularly share practical tips and insights on public speaking and communication skills. If you are active on Youtube, Instagram, or Threads, let's connect.
Best,
Waqas, Founder & Speaking Coach
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