The only newsletter you'll ever need to overcome the crippling fear of public speaking and gain the self-confidence you've always desired. (Loved by 625+ readers every week)
Nervous for Being Seen as Nervous?
Published 3 months ago • 4 min read
30th Issue of Newsletter
Free Your Voice from Speaking Anxiety
Reader,
Ever been nervous for being seen as nervous?
I've been there ... and I know it's not fun.
I used to feel anxiety that I would appear nervous, and I wouldn't be able to do anything to help it.
People would see it as a sign of weakness and cowardice, and I would be rejected as a confident person and speaker
... they will think low of me.
Let's dig into the root causes of this fear.
These are the limiting beliefs behind this fear:
Being seen as nervous is bad or weak
Showing vulnerability is bad
If someone has these beliefs, this is all you might be thinking during their talk:
My heartbeat is racing.
My face is sweating.
My voice is trembling.
My hands are shaking.
Oh Gosh! I'm a train reck.
My audience can see me as nervous, and I am being perceived as weak and unconfident.
Who am I kidding ... there is no place for me in public speaking. I am a lost cause already.
Guess what?
They will get even more nervous.
They may get so anxious that it would trigger a panic attack and a flight response.
Personally ...
I was so scared of being seen as nervous on stage that I would avoid public speaking at all costs.
It can get to the point that some people may leave the stage in the middle of their talk.
It's our limiting beliefs ... about ourselves and about public speaking.
Therefore, the best approach is to identify and eliminate core limiting beliefs causing you anxiety in the first place and then leading to panic attacks ...
For example, limiting beliefs such as being seen as nervous is bad or weak.
But let me say this ...
One big reason you get nervous is this:
You CARE ABOUT your talk, your presentation, your perceived image on stage, and telling your personal stories to your audience.
... and since you care, it makes you nervous that you must do your absolute best
... which in a sense is a good thing as it'll force you to put some effort into preparing and rehearsing your talk and give your 110%.
Otherwise ... you may just as well go unprepared or under-prepared and try to wing it, right?
Stress and speaking nerves are nature's ways of telling you and your body that something important and worthwhile is coming up so don't mess this up!
... it enables you to perform at your best.
Lemme tell you this:
I was relieved when I came to know that appearing nervous on stage is not as bad as I thought it was.
In fact, it's a good thing ... it's a sign to your audience that you care about them and your talk
... you care so much that it's making you feel the nerves.
It humanizes you.
It makes the audience relate with you and connect with you on a deep emotional level
... they will see you as a genuine and authentic human being.
Picture this ...
If you're in the audience and you see a fellow speaker on stage showing signs of nervousness and showing vulnerability, but still managing to share their personal life stories with the audience with all the emotions ...
Wouldn't you relate with them, connect with their emotions, and root for them?
I know I would
... 100%.
I would think of them as courageous ... because it takes courage to stand strong in the face of fears.
... and courage is NOT the absence of fear but showing up in spite of it.
I can also tell from experience that NO ONE can relate to and connect with an emotionless speaker who only speaks from the surface level and doesn't show even a hint of emotions and vulnerability.
The fact that you have these emotions, signs of nervousness, and sharing your most vulnerable moments, people can tell that you are one of them ... a fellow human being.
Embrace it!
The more you show willingness to embrace it, more confident you will become on stage
... this is the secret folks.
Public speakers who say that they are as cool as a cucumber, oftentimes they are as inspiring as a cucumber.
Translation ...
Therefore, I don't want to completely remove your speaking nerves.
Instead ...
I want you to have a good relationship with them.
I want you to be equipped with tools and strategies to manage them before and during your speaking engagements.
Here's the difference between a nervous and a confident speaker:
Both experience speaking nerves ... but one (confident) knows how to manage them and the other (nervous) does not.
This reminds me of a quote, lemme pass the mic to Mark Twain 🎤
So ...
Embrace your speaking nerves and aim for becoming confidently nervous—a term I learned from my mentor and coach.
We'll talk about the power of vulnerability in public speaking some other day.
That's a wrap!
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BRINGING IT HOME
TL; DR
Nervousness and showing vulnerability can be your friends.
People will find it easier to relate to and connect with you if you're showing nervousness and sharing vulnerable moments with them.
They wouldn't help but root for you ... they will think of you as one of them ... a genuine human being.
Feel free to reply to this email if you have questions or feedback on this newsletter.
TWO MORE WAYS I CAN HELP YOU
1 - Free Discovery Call - Book your free discovery call now to uncover the root of your anxiety and fast-track your journey from nervous to confident speaker 🎤. Seize the opportunity and take that first step toward transformation!
2 - Social media - I share practical tips and insights on public speaking and communication skills. If you are active on Youtube, Instagram, or Threads, let's connect.
The only newsletter you'll ever need to overcome the crippling fear of public speaking and gain the self-confidence you've always desired. (Loved by 625+ readers every week)
