"Go practice... it's the only way to overcome this fear".
"Practice makes a man perfect".
"Pretend you're confident... and over time you'll gain confidence".
"Practice in front of a mirror 20 TIMES before a presentation... that's the only way".
...
This is what I got when I asked for advice to beat my fear of public speaking.
Such advice is so commonplace, I thought let's put everything into perspective.
This is for you if:
You have always practiced and rehearsed your presentations and talks...
Maybe sometimes you've over-practiced.
But when it's time to deliver, you can't manage those speaking nerves. You can't hide your fear, and you know everyone in the audience can see it like a fish out of water.
I'm not gonna lie to you..
This was me 4 years ago.
I took this approach to overcome my crippling fear of public speaking.
I joined a local toastmaster club in January 2022 and delivered 3-4 speeches every single month for almost a year.
I focused on just practicing.
I was trying to:
→ ELIMINATE the fillers
→ PERFECT body language and
→ POLISH messaging and delivery.
I believed if messaging and delivery of my speeches were perfect, I wouldn't feel speaking nerves.
I thought if I removed all the filler words, my speaking confidence would boost.
Turns out, worrying too much about delivery and fillers can backfire for beginner speakers.
That's exactly what happened to me early on...
Whenever I mistakenly used a filler, I got more nervous and sometimes visibly shaking in front of the audience.
I focused more on not using fillers and less on whether I was getting my point across.
Long story short, after a year of practice, I was finally able to deliver my first speech outside the Toastmasters Club to an audience of 40+.
First anything is always memorable, right?
The speech was great... Although I experienced speaking nerves, I was able to trigger the fight response this time.
But... but
Even though I claim I overcame my anxiety that day, the truth is I was still worried.
I still had many doubts and concerns such as...
↳ What if my anxiety came back?
↳ What if I went blank on stage?
↳ What if someone negatively judged my performance on stage?
It wasn't until I hired a speaking anxiety coach the next year who then helped me identify and eliminate the limiting beliefs and negative mindset causing me that intense worry and self-doubts.
One such self-limiting belief was:
"I am good enough if others think well of me".
It was then that I became convinced I had finally gained unshakable speaking confidence that no one could take away from me.
Bottom line:
Practicing does work but it's a LOOOOONG way my friend before you gain the speaking confidence you always desired.
-Waqas
P.S. Have you ever practiced or even over-practiced before an important presentation or talk and still felt like "not good enough" and overwhelmed by nerves?
If yes, tell me more about it by replying to this email. I read and respond to all emails.
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