It's about 7:20 pm on Wednesday of the previous week.
I'm on stage at the local Toastmasters Club in Lakewood, CO.
I'm in the middle of telling a personal story from my childhood when I was about 8-10 years old.
And I'm exposing my most vulnerable and weakest moments when I lost my self-respect, self-confidence and ...
I got embarrassed in front of my own family by one of my distant family members ... my second uncle wanted to hold an English-speaking competition, but I had no idea about the "first E" of English haha
I poured my heart and soul into crafting this story and now telling it and yet there's this one gentleman in the audience who is yawning ...
Non-stop!
To tell you the truth, it's bothering me ...
It's bothering me to the extent that I have to pause for a moment in real time while telling my story and give meaning to his excessive yawning.
I'm trying to understand what's going on here ...
Am I boring my audience or is it something else at play?
I then realize that I had seen this same individual yawning several times in the past when other speakers were on stage.
I take a closer look at his face and get an idea of what's going on ...
His eyes are swollen and red ... and his face shows obvious signs of lethargy and tiredness.
Ok, got it. I then conclude ...
- Maybe he hasn't slept in days maybe even weeks or
- Maybe he has a medical condition like insomnia or
- Maybe he's going through a lot at his job or at home and is generally tired and sleep-deprived
- Or maybe a dozen other things ...
Right?
Once I gave this meaning or interpretation to what was going on, I felt confident and kept going without getting bothered by his yawns anymore.
I felt relaxed, calm, and composed.
Reader,
The purpose of telling you all this is this one takeaway:
Some things are out of our control, and some are under our control ...
and we shouldn't worry too much about what's out of our control and should focus only on what we CAN control.
Meaning ...
Him yawning was not in my control ... but giving meaning to his yawning was totally under my control
And that's what I did ...
I gave meaning that was in my favor to be at my best and not get anxious anymore.
Similarly:
- Your mind going blank when presenting is out of your control BUT the way you react to it and what you do afterwards is under your control.
- Your heartbeat racing is out of your control BUT how you interpret it is in your control.
- Feeling those speaking nerves and adrenaline rush just before a presentation are out of your control BUT giving a particular meaning to it is in your control.
- Someone rolling their eyes or yawning during your presentation is not in your control BUT the way you take it and react to it is totally under your control.
- People giving you all sorts of feedback is not in your control BUT you taking what makes most sense and implementing it is totally in your control.
Reader,
Does it make sense?
If yes, I invite you to keep this in mind before, during and after your next talk, presentation, or team meeting and identify what's out of your control and what's under your control ...
and only focus on what you CAN control.
And that's not all, you can apply this principle in every aspect of your life.
By the way, just wanted to give you this free guide and a bonus opportunity (Click here) to get your personalized roadmap to conquer your anxieties and fear of speaking in front of groups.
Best,
Waqas - Head Speaking Anxiety Coach
Website Link